Sometimes you can do everything right and still not have the outcome you wanted. I've talked to too many mamas who second guess their c-sections and if only... their birth experiences. Hindsight can be a bitch sometimes. Slap her down and be nice to yourself.
Birth can be a tricky business. That's why we hire professionals to assist us. While they have more knowledge and experience, they, too, are human beings doing the best they can.
Please don't think I'm excusing away responsibility and accountability. I'm not. I'm just asking you to make way for humanness. To forgive yourself for not knowing. To give yourself a break. To be kind to yourself.
The world can be a tough place. Life knocks us down repeatedly. We then have to brush ourselves off and get back at it. It gets harder the more baggage we carry. So, if you look back on your birth(s) and find yourself saying "I wish I had..." "If only..." I want you to take a deep breath and let it go. Take another breath, find your center, give yourself a mental pat on the back, and breath out the bad and let the good flood in.
Next, look in the mirror and say, maybe it didn't happen the way I wanted but the end product (my child) is what I am focused on now and I won't let that moment define me or our relationship. I am a stronger person for what I went through and I will use that strength to create a better life for me and my child(ren)
I think every woman who has the courage and fortitude to bring forth a human being into this world, no matter how it arrives, should be honored and respected. It is a heroic act of courage to make that leap of faith into parenthood. Ladies, Mothers, I salute you!